At work, true friendship isn't about joking around or forced drinks. It's about alliance: mutual trust, concrete support, shared goals. When this alliance exists, people communicate better, make quicker decisions, and support one another in difficult times. This is what I've seen at OSM transform groups of professionals into teams capable of growing together.
Not “team building”, but building alliances
Companies often confuse fun with connection. I prefer a simple approach: fewer special effects, more rituals that normalize helping each other, giving feedback, and enjoying others' achievements as much as our own.
When I talk about alliance in OSM, I mean three things:
- Clear purpose: we know why we work together and what really matters;
- Operational trustI can count on you when I need you, and you on me;
- Mutual careWe are interested in results and the people who make them possible.
What it isn't (and why it doesn't work)
- it's not about forcing everyone to become friends: it creates embarrassment and defensiveness;
- it's not about filling your diary with events: it tires you out and distracts you from the real work;
- It's not ignoring conflicts: it's sweeping them under the rug, where they grow.
Five practices I use (and you can start right now)
Intentional proximity
Relationships are born where work happens. At OSM, I ask managers to "stay close" to their teams when it matters most: brief coaching sessions, targeted stand-ups, and presence at critical moments. A few minutes well spent can make more sense than a thousand calls.
- choose a fixed window each week to be in the field without a schedule;
- observe, ask questions, remove an obstacle before you leave.
Reflection for you: What is a point in the flow where your presence would unlock the work today?
Recognition rituals (micro, but constant)
Esteem is built by naming what works. At OSM, we use short weekly "shout-outs": 60 seconds to thank those who have helped others or kept the course steady during a difficult situation. Applause isn't necessary: clarity and sincerity are enough.
- every Friday, three concrete recognitions: gesture, impact, learning;
- voice rotation: everyone, in turn, recognizes someone.
Reflection for you: Who have you seen growing others' work this week?
Explicit reciprocity
An alliance is born when asking for help isn't taboo and offering it is normal. In our teams, we make this a reality with a fixed question:
“What do you need from me in the next 7 days, and what can you offer others?”
- write a few lines, make them public in the team: clear commitments, no vague promises;
- reread at the end of the week: what we have kept, what needs to be fixed.
Reflection for you: What specific help can you ask for today to unlock an achievement?
Dissent that protects the relationship
Friendship doesn't mean always saying yes. At OSM, we follow a simple rule: disagreement is brought up quickly, privately if it's personal, publicly if it's about method, always with a viable alternative.
- formulate the point like this: observable fact → impact → concrete proposal;
- The recipient responds with: thank you → clarification → decision and next steps.
Reflection for you: What discussion are you putting off so as not to ruin the mood?
Shared victories, not private ones
Professional friendships are strengthened when successes are shared. We celebrate "useful victories": not every achievement, but those that truly changed the work (a saved client, a streamlined process, an avoided mistake).
- tell the story in three slides: problem, action, measurable result;
- close with what we repeat tomorrow to scale the learning.
Reflection for you: What meaningful victory can you share with the wider team this week?
Managing risks without drama
Yes, friendships at work can lead to jealousy, clicks, and distractions. These can be prevented with three precautions:
- Clear roles: friendship yes, ambiguity no;
- Same rules for everyone: feedback and merit do not depend on likes;
- Protected time to work: spaces for relationships without invading focus hours.
Where to start (tomorrow morning)
- schedule 30 minutes on the field at a critical point in the flow;
- introduce Friday shout-outs (three, concrete);
- ask for and offer specific help for the next 7 days;
- brings a dissent with a proposal following the observable rule → impact → alternative;
- share a useful victory with what you immediately reply.
From colleagues to allies
Over time, these practices transform colleagues into allies. And when work becomes a place of alliances, people stay, grow, and help the organization grow. Grand proclamations aren't needed: small, consistently repeated choices are needed.
Call to action: Pick a practice, apply it for four weeks, and then tell me what changed in your team. This is how, at OSM, we've seen the alliances that make a difference emerge.
Further reflections on this topic
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