Is emotionally inconsistent leadership destroying the team?

Is being kind after “abuse” enough to make amends?

Imagine working for an unpredictable boss. One day he's helpful, thoughtful, and seems genuinely interested in the team's well-being. The next day he yells, belittles, and treats coworkers with arrogance. Then, a few days later, he becomes kind again, perhaps with some unexpected praise or an invitation to lunch.

At first, you might think: maybe he was just having a bad day. But then it happens again. And again.

💡 Welcome to the “Jekyll and Hyde” leadership.

A study published by theHarvard Business School has shown that this oscillation between toxic behaviors and acts of kindness not only does not compensate for the damage done, but it can even make the situation worse.

The myth of “making peace” with the team after a mistake

Many leaders believe that if they misbehave in a moment of stress, simply showing kindness and thoughtfulness will erase everything.

💡 Huge mistake.

The reality is that alternating between abuse and kindness is more harmful than constant abuse.

📌 Why?

• It creates uncertainty. Employees never know who they will be dealing with: the understanding leader or the aggressive one?
• It emotionally drains the team. Emotional instability generates anxiety and reduces productivity.
• It erodes trust. If a leader treats the team poorly but then tries to compensate with acts of kindness, employees begin to distrust any positive gestures.

📌 Moral? If you think you can compensate for bad behavior with subsequent kind acts, you're only making matters worse.

Is a consistently toxic leader better? The answer is surprising.

Here's the most shocking part of the research: A boss who is always toxic is less harmful than one who alternates between kindness and abuse.

💡 It seems absurd, but it makes sense.

If a boss is consistently unfair, at least the employees they know what to expectThey learn to protect themselves, to reduce contact, to develop strategies for survival.

Instead, with an inconsistent leader, Uncertainty undermines the team's psychological safety, leading to chronic stress and declining performance.

How to Eliminate Inconsistent Leadership and Create a Healthy Environment

If you are a leader and recognize yourself in some of these behaviors, don't despair: change is possible. Here's how.

1. Stop trying to “make up” for mistakes with kindness.

If you overreacted or misbehaved, apologize and work on yourself. Don't try to "rebalance" the scales with forced acts of kindness.

2. Learn to regulate your emotions

Most inconsistent leaders have difficulty with emotional control. Practices such as mindfulness, stress management, and assertive communication techniques can help you respond more constructively.

3. Be transparent with the team

If you are working on improving your behavior, communicate this openly. Transparency is the key to rebuilding trust.

4. Companies must stop tolerating inconsistent leadership

HR and top management must take the problem seriously, offering training and tools to prevent these behaviors.

Conclusion: Leadership is not a balance between good and evil, it is consistency.

Alternating abuse and kindness is one of the most damaging things you can do to a team.

📌 A true leader doesn't try to "balance" mistakes with kind gestures. A true leader strives to be consistently fair, just, and equitable.

🔹 Open question: Have you ever worked with a boss who alternated between moments of kindness and toxic behavior? How did that affect your work and motivation?

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Share it or tell us about your experience in the comments! 💬

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